Having a big, close-knit family can be wonderful. It means there's always someone to talk to, someone to visit, someone who's got your back... and it also means that each life event is a big deal. Even when you want it to be a small and intimate affair.I recently got engaged for the second time, and while my first wedding was big, all day event the second time I'd much prefer to keep it small. I don't even want a reception. Just a short ceremony followed by dinner. It's certainly not like I need gifts. Between the two of us, we have a household and a half! Sincere, heartfelt congratulations is really all that's needed. And while I'm sure this is fine, I worry that if I don't have the entire family invited to said dinner I will offend them in some way. Which is the last thing I'd want to do. But at the same time I'm not willing to trade in my nice, quiet, stress-free wedding day for the giant all day event it was last time. Just immediate family members and a few close friends. I sometimes wonder if it'd been that way the first time if I wouldn't have had the courage to tell someone that I didn't want to go through with it. It's hard to say.
Things are very different this time, which I take as a good sign. I'm actually HAPPY about it, for one. I'm excited to tell people, for two. And I really love the idea of keeping things simple and easy. Which is why I'm looking into restaurants so no one has to clean up but the people working there. And no all day entertaining, no up early and racing to be ready on time. I'm thinking... marriage at 4pm followed by dinner at 5. Or maybe 530. And the nice thing is, so far Jesse agrees with me! We have very similar ideas about how we'd like life to be, and that's translated into how we'd like our wedding to be as well. Either that or he's just being nice and humoring me... he's cool like that.
I'm reminded of a movie I saw once, about three couples competing to have their wedding featured in a magazine as the wedding of the year or best wedding or... something. There was the tennis couple, the nudist couple, and the musical couple. What comes to mind most is the nudist couple's experience. They so much wanted to be married naked. It was who they were, and what brought them together in the first place. Right from the get-go there was opposition; from family members AND the magazine. They tried to dress them up, clothe them, and create a wedding that wasn't really a reflection of who they were or what they wanted. In the end, they had their way in spite of parents wishes and magazine's fear of offending... and it was quite possibly one of the sweetest moments in film I'd seen in a long time! I actually shed tears! And I never cry during movies. They were married in the nude with no pretense, no mask... just simply and the way they wanted all along.
That's the kind of moment I'd like to have this time. Not in the way anyone else wants, but our way. Simple, quick, easy, and full of happiness and quiet celebration. I've never relished a lot of attention anyway, so if I can keep it simple that will be a huge relief for me. And hopefully everyone can understand and be supportive... even if it is from afar. Either way, I'm excited for the big day, even though we're not completely sure when it will be. Does matter to me though. It'll be a happy happy day!
