Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My Precious

For those of you who don't know, I have an unnatural attachment to my cellular phone. When I can't find it, I search everywhere until it's in my hand again and I can caress the smooth case with my fingertips. There was a day a while ago where I'd set it on my bed post, forgot about it, though it was in my bed, and went so far as to rip the sheets and matress from my bed looking for it. I was about to cry I was so upset that I'd lost it. I searched my entire apartment for it, frantically looking in every corner, and desperately hoping that someone would call or text and I would hear it and thus locate it. Someone did finally text me, but not until I had my silly phone in my hot little hands already.


So this evening, apparently Verizon had an outage in Boise. On my way home from work I usually call Jesse, and we have a nice talk while I drive. I got voicemail. Was odd... but ok. So I called and talked to Del instead. It was nice, since she and I haven't talked in a while, and our conversations are always satisfying. Still, I was frustrated. And as throughout the evening I tried texting, calling, leaving messages to reach him, I was unable to get hold of him. Very frustrating.

I did realize something in regards to my precious phone. It's not really the phone I value so much as I value the link to the people I love and don't always get to see as often as I prefer. The communication is what it provides me, and I greatly appreciate it.

Some friends stopped by this evening and we had a discussion about communication. We just got talking about why some relationships with friends and boyfriends don't work out, and what it boiled down to was lack of communication. I think about the most succesful relationships I have, and it seems that the secret of their success is the freedom I feel in speech, action; really every way. I can be myself without worry, and I know that any problems that arise will be worked through.

On a walk with my best friend I'm afraid to admit that I got a bit snipey. What I appreciate most is that she told me flat out what I was doing, and that it upset her. I was given the opportunity to apologize, which I did, and we talked about it a bit. Freely. Openly. Comfortably. And I don't really remember what the details of the problem were, I just remember that I was relieved to be able to resolve things, and to feel like it was ok. Because we could communicate with each other.

Contrarywise I see in relationships I've had that failed where communication failed, and was the root of the problems we had. It's interesting, and I'm glad I learned a bit from them. It's hard to not regret the things left unsaid, or the things said that shouldn't have been. I guess regret is a part of life... and I'm reminded of my favorite childhood movie, The Last Unicorn.

UNICORN: I am a little afraid to go home. I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am no longer like the others; for no unicorn was ever born who could regret. But now I do. I regret.
SCHMENDRICK: I am sorry, I have done you evil and I cannot undo it.
UNICORN: No. Unicorns are in the world again. No sorrow will live in me as long as that joy - save one, and I thank you for that part too.

Kind of sums up my feelings there. I think Peter S. Beagle's words communicate my feelings beautifully. And when you can't find your own words, sometimes you can borrow someon else's and the meaning is the same. In the meantime, I keep my precious close to me and charged up; ready to use. Just in case I feel like talking.

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Ah the wonders of nature! I've been really bored here in town lately, so when my cousin Katie called me and wanted me to take a little out of town trip I leapt at the chance! First we'd planned to head out to Ririe and the twin bridges, but that quickly changed to Mesa Falls. Within an hour actually. So since that's on the way to her apartment in Rexburg, as soon as I got the oil in my car changed (Thank you Grandpa!!!) I loaded a soda and my friend Kristy in the car and we were off for an Idaho Adventure!

Our first stop was in Rexburg to pick up Katie, which was interesting. Took a bit to find her apartment, as when she says it's on the same street as the temple I assumed it was the main street the temple was on, not the cross street. Silly Rachel! We found her eventually, saw her cute apartment, and then hit the highway. Apparently Mesa Falls is through Ashton, and I know the way. Used to drive that highway when I lived in Montana all the time! So we left and dilligently searched for the sign pointing us to the falls.

About 8 miles away from Island Park we started to sense that perhaps we'd gone to far. Three phone calls later, we discovered this to be true. A quick u-turn later, we were heading South back to Ashton.

The sign was so obvious on the way back! We felt like fools! Fools!

Our second stop was at Lower Mesa Falls. Beautiful this time of year... but it's a deadly beauty. We hadn't been there long when the stories of careless canoers started and we learned that there had been deaths on the lower falls. Did it curb my desire to leap in with a tube and float to the bottom? No! Not even death could curb my desire to float and play in the water!

The third stop was at the top of the road leading down to Upper Mesa Falls. The road was covered with snow too deep for my car, in spite of the 73 degree weather. So, we hauled out our cameras, left everything else in the car, and hiked through the snow in sandals down to the overlook. It was a nice walk down, splashing in the puddles on the road from melted snow and blazing trails over the cracking ice that hadn't quite melted yet. It was a hot day, but the breeze up from the snow kept us cool. If there was snow on every day it was 73 degrees it would be perfect... except I hate snow so nevermind.

The falls were extremely full, being the time of year all the runoff from the mountains poured into the river. You could hear it before you could see the falls, and I felt a certain amount of excitement when the noise reached my ears. I'd been there, but years before now, when I was at my crankiest teenager phase. (sorry Mom and Dad) I remembered it as soon as I saw it. It was beautiful! And tempting... my first impulse was to leap over the side of the railing and into the water below. Obviously I didn't, as I am still alive and blogging today. But the water looked amazing and the spray was cool and refreshing!

It was nice to linger, but we had a hike uphill to go. And my stomach was growling. So up hill we went, through the snow and the puddles, and back to the car. It was a quick trip back to Ashton, where we pulled off at Big Jud's to eat. None of us had ever been there before, so it was a nice treat. The three of us split the one pounder, and that ended up to be enough when combined with onion rings, fries, and tater-tots. Yum Yum. And after a day outdoors, I was very hungry! We had ice cream later, which was delicious, and then got home about 10pm.

It was a glorious day both out of town and out of the city. I forget how much I enjoy trips to the mountains and the beauty I find there. It's rejuvinating in a way that nothing else is. And I'm glad I have the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors as much as I can here in Idaho.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

So I woke up this morning, and in typical fashion turned on the TV in my bedroom in the hopes that the noise would wake me. But it didn't. Ha ha ha. Kind of figured. I wasn't exactly up or out late, but have been SO tired lately that I'm not surprised I went right back to sleep, in spite of Spongebob's incessant laughter. When I did finally wake up again, I flipped channels and happened to catch MoTab's Mother's Day Special. Was actually pretty good. Who doesn't love the MoTab? Anywho, towards the end of the program, I realized that it's Mother's Day today. And then I felt like a jerk because I had neither texted nor called my mother to wish her a happy one yet. And it was at least 9am.

A quick feel under my pillow located my phone, and I quickly fired off a text to my mom and sister... since I'll be seeing my grandmothers later today, figured I'd just wait till I saw them. Anywho, I know it was just a text, but funny how that made me feel less like a jerk immediately. And then I felt like I could get up and get ready for the rest of my day.

My family gets pretty neglected in the busy day to day of my life. I think of them often, but it's usually "I should call (family member's name here) and see what they're up to," and then I forget almost immediately afterwards as something at work comes up or I start trying to finish unpacking more of my stuff.

I'm sure they're not offended, which is good. They know I love them. And it's not like they call me all that much either. So I guess we're even. It's understandable in this busy world. There's a lot going on with everyone and when your family is as large as mine, it's hard to keep track of everyone. I feel sad sometimes at some of the local functions. Everyone's got a brother or sister or parent there, and I'm flying solo. And I miss my immediate family being around close. When they're here I always feel like I have someone guaranteed to love me and talk to me when everyone else is busy with their own immediate families. They're just special that way. And who knows you better than the people who lived with you your whole life?

Who else saw the drawings I did on the driveway of our WVC house with the heel of my cast? Who else knows that I always had to be Robin Hood, Cathy Maid Marian, and Christopher Voltron? Who used to stay up with me talking and playing when we should have been in bed? Who were my comrades in arms as we made our way through the Christmas morning booby traps? Who else would go with me to the midnight showing of whatever kitschy movie was playing at the Garland? Who else would sneak bottles of Creme Soda and Bruchi's sandwiches into a Disney movie with me? Who else would get all gussied up in the bathroom with me before various outings? Who let me whine about the hundreds (or so she says) of boys I had crushes on? Who went to TWO girly movies in a row with me and didn't complain once? Who spent hours in the backyard hosing down the garden then getting covered head to toe in mud? Who knows that I'm crazy for books and have been since I learned to read at age 4?

Cathy, Christopher, Mark and Matthew. And my mom and dad. Sorry to wax nostalgic... but given the way my life has gone I sometimes wish I could rewind and go back to when I didn't have so many worries. And to spend those days at home with my family, running around the backyard and playing games without thoughts of rent, car payments, ending up alone and trying to budget in gas. Still, it's easier to muck through with them and I'm glad that I happened to be born into the most amazing family in the world. I'll include my extended family in there as well. Not as great as my immediate family, but they're not bad. Wink, wink.

So now that it's noon, I'm going to roll out of bed and get ready to celebrate the day. Got to get the flowers for my grandma's ready, and then wander to both their houses for a few quick visits. Should be a good day, but busy and that's ok.

Friday, May 2, 2008

The Apartments of Bonneville County

Old vs New. Hmmm. Kind of funny. My old apartment was brand new and never been lived in when I got there. My new apartment is older than I am. Perhaps I'm the only one who can see the irony... or maybe it's not irony. But it makes me giggle to think about it at any rate, and that's worth a lot!

I'm moved in. Or as much as I can be given that there are still boxes everywhere. It takes a while to find places for all your precious precious things, and I'm still working on that. And by working on that I mean I'm sitting here on my couch, watching The Bridges of Madison County on Bravo, and blogging. Very productive, I know. But I haven't had the internet at home in a week! Just want to take advantage for a while.

My new apartment is cozy even if it is a little weird. It's definitely an old place, but has charm. And plenty of storage space, which is a change from my brand-new-state-of-the-art-apartment I occupied previous to this one. Granted there is no Master of Bubbles or unicyclist around here (that I know of) but it's quiet and nice and I definitely like it.

Sidebar: I just had a rolling blackout.

The light in my current living room would have given you seizures. Which is why I left it off. After my first seizure I was just exhausted! And I hurt my poor giant noggin. So I'd been sticking to either opening the window or turning on my standing lamp. It doesn't really give off much light anyway, but that doesn't really bug me. The property manager was just here a bit ago saying that they're going to be replacing the lights soon. Possibly even today. Which will be interesting. But I won't complain. Better that than having another seizure.

Now that most of my stuff is out of boxes and put away, its starting to feel like home. And it's nice that I don't have to go down this silly town's busiest street to get home everyday. I take an exit off the highway, take a right, then a left and I'm on my street and it's a straight shot to home. Granted when I leave in the morning for work there is a bit of school traffic to get through, but the beauty of living in a school zone is that everyone drives slow. I can pull right out and be on my way.

It's nice to have the stress of moving in and moving out over with now. I'm very glad and look forward to being settled in. I know I should get some more unpacking done, but a nap seems far too tempting. I'll let Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep lull me to sleep with their tormented and brief romance, and hope that I have a few nice nap dreams.

Rachel and Jesse

Rachel and Jesse

Things Currently Making Me Happy

  • All the warm snuggly quilts Grandma made me
  • I have bangs again!
  • Jesse. He's just the best husband!!
  • Little secrets I get to keep
  • Sunshine

Things Currently Annoying Me

  • Dealing with a stubborn 4-year-old
  • I miss my family
  • Less time to spend with my husband and more time to be alone
  • Trying (unsuccessfully) to make friends with someone in my ward...
  • Will it ever be warm again?