Honestly I thought living in town with a lot of family would be different. Somehow I thought I would be more involved in their lives and would see them more, but honestly they never tell me when things are going on. I either find out on accident but just showing up, hear about it from Emily because she doesn't want to go unless I do, or I hear about it after the fact and get told things like... "Oh you should have come!" or "I thought (insert name) called you!" But no one does. And then when I do get told about family events, I either can't go because of work or I've already made other plans and it's too late to change them. Its a bit disappointing. And now when I really need them, I probably won't have any help loading up. I know people always say this, but if they called me and needed my help or just wanted it, I would go and help. And yet... I haven't heard a word from anyone about being able, not being able or anything. It's just disappointing in family more than anyone else.
On a happier note, I have a nice apartment that I can afford in Boise. Its a two bedroom townhouse, and I'm very excited. I looked at it and filled out the paperwork last weekend and it's officially mine for a year. On top of that, I pretty much have a job. The interviews have gone really well, and I just have one more before I am officially hired. Another weight off my mind. Things are falling right into place, and it certainly helps alleviate any nervousness I might have had about starting over in a new place again. I am definitely looked out for. Feels nice.
It also feels 100% like the right decision. Granted there are a few things that still make me wonder about it... because obviously I can't see into the future. But I'm secure in the knowledge that I will be ok no matter what happens. Just have to work hard, do everything I can do and it will all be alright. I still have my panic moments, because let's face it *I* invented the ulcer. I worry over nothing frequently, but also have people in my life who help soothe my fears and put things into correct perspective for me. I know my family worries about me and how I will do on my own there, but I'm actually very excited. It's a new challenge and if I really need it, help isn't that far away. I can't explain why I feel so good about it, but I do. Once I actually made the decision and started planning my life I just felt good.
Idaho Falls has been good to me, but it's always had a sort of transitory feel to it. And now that I have my feet firmly under me again (cuz I've had a bit of a rough time over the past few years) I feel confident that I can and will move forward with my life and be happy. It actually feels like the things I want in life are within my grasp. Although those things have changed a bit that's ok. Its nice to feel like my life won't be a total mess after all... it's gonna be good! So stay tuned...