Most people think I'm kidding or just being funny when I say that I feel as though I have been doomed to wander the earth for 40 years as the Israelites of old. I guess at least I don't have to wander in the desert like they did. And I have Jack-in-the-Box instead of manna. I've moved from house to house, city to city, state to state, and seem to be showing NO signs of stopping. Case in point: I moved to Idaho Falls after a couple years in Spokane thinking that I would settle there and stay for a decade or two. Except I'm not doing that, I'm moving to Boise in about three or four weeks. End of October. On Halloween. Like moving isn't scary enough!I haven't found an official apartment yet, or a job for that matter. But things seem to be going well and falling into place. That's usually a good sign to me that things will come and I'm moving in the right direction. It's nice to feel like I'm making a good decision, even if everyone around me is skeptical.
Living in IF has been a bit like hiding out. It's comfortable and easy and safe. And I guess I need to go somewhere I can get out of my safe zone. I've missed a faster pace in town, as well. I miss high-rise buildings, downtown shops, outdoor dining (when it's warm) and theater! I've been to stuff here in IF at a couple of theaters, but it's just not the same as the Opera House in Spokane, or some of the other places I've been. It'll be weird to live in a city that doesn't have any other family in it, because in my 30 years of life (OMGosh I'm OLD!) someone else has always lived in the same city as me. Well, with the exception of a few horrible years. But those don't matter. I've been on my own enough to know that regardless of the details, I WILL be okay. And while I'm nervous about going somewhere new, I'm also excited for the possibilities it will bring. Just gotta make sure I've got a job!
That, I would have to say, is the WORST part of moving to a new place. Worrying that no one will want to hire me and that I'll be a jobless bum and have to pawn all my worldly goods wakes me up in the wee sma's and makes me shiver. I know it's an unrealistic fear, but it's probably going to be there until I get settled in. I don't enjoy learning a new job either. It frustrates me when I don't know what I'm doing, but then I remind myself it's ALL part of the process of learning and adjusting. It's a good lesson for me.
I suppose I have been cursed to wander the earth for 40 years, but the good news IS I've only got ten more years to go! And then I can settle in to my Promised Land... or something like that. I'd really love to settle and stay for a whole decade and see how that feels, but I suspect I might not even be capable of settling in and staying. I just don't know if I can at this point. I'm too used to moving around and the thrill of a new city, new faces, new experiences... I guess we'll see. Home is where all your crap is anyway and all my crap is pretty portable.
To sum up, I'm excited. And I feel GOOD about my decision to move there. It's nice to feel like you can make decisions and not totally screw up your life, not to mention feeling good about those decisions. I feel like I'm led where I need to be and taken care of when I get there. It's good.
***Update: I've got two job interviews AND I found an apartment in a nice area that I can AFFORD. Whee!!! It's all comin' togetha!!!
